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No TV – Day One

22 Oct Posted by in Random Observations | Comments

zapping remote controlDay One – No TV

My husband came home from work today (okay, so he works downstairs – heck of a commute) – anyway, he comes home from work and says those words that every wife dreads hearing in her marriage: I canceled the cable.

You did what? I asked as the room began to spin around me and I started clawing at my sweater and gasping for air.

I said I canceled the cable. We watch too much TV. This’ll be good for us.

Good for us like water boarding! I screamed as this stranger I once thought I loved disappeared down the hall whistling my death requiem while I ran to the TV and turned it on. Sure enough – static. I flipped the channel – more static. I flung my body on top of it in despair and cried Come Back to new Christine, and Meredith and McSteamy, and Leno, and Roseanne, and the Olsen twins before they got creepy.

I sat Junior down and told him the news as his eyes got wide and filled with tears and I explained to him that Sponge Bob went to heaven along with his goldfish Fred and that pair of red cowboy boots that he refused to take off for three weeks straight. We held each other and cried as we realized that we would never again see another Law and Order episode and get to look for dead bodies on the way to school.

We had a small service, with no viewing of course – and I’m still waiting for people to bring over casseroles. But what am I supposed to look at while I eat my homemade macaroni and cheese? The wall? The stupid ceramic clown Aunt Esther gave me that survived three yard sales and a toddler?

I know, I know, one day at a time. I’m having to relearn everything in my life – like those people whose bodies are crushed in an accident and they have to start over again.  It will be hard, but I can do it. If I could give up blue eyeshadow and my Scott Baio poster, I can do this.

I’ll keep you posted.

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