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Little Drummer Boy

08 Dec Posted by in Random Observations | 1 comment

decorationEvery time I turn on the radio I hear The Little Drummer Boy. I have heard it four hundred and seventy-seven times since Thanksgiving, in three languages, in every rendition from reggae to hand bells, sung by everyone from Sinatra to Sting to the old lady who folds her laundry outside WalMart. All right already, we get it drummer boy, play the darned drum already! Because isn’t that just what every mother wants for her sleeping baby?

I can’t get pa-rum-pum-pum-pum out of my head. It plays when I pump gas, it plays when I buy groceries. Sometimes I forget how the Pledge of Allegiance goes but I know every blasted word to that stupid song, and am convinced it will be the background music when I take my last breath. I can hear my son now, leaning close to listen to my parting words, What did she say Dad? I can barely hear her. Was that pa-rum-pum-pum-pum?

And sometimes, if I’m really lucky, I will get stuck on just one line in the song – get interrupted at the same place – pick up at that same place – get interrupted again – so that the entire day I spend on that one line like a skipping record, which just does wonders for my sunny disposition.  And people wonder why I kick the car when I can’t get the gas tank open. You can blame the drummer boy.

I’m thinking if he had known it was going to get this much attention, the little drummer boy would have hired an agent, or his parents would have bought him something besides a drum. But then again, they could have bought him a recorder. Can you imagine going through the next century having to listen to The Little Recorder Boy in a high-pitched tone that only dogs would love? Now that would really show the patience and love of the newborn king and the others who got to attend the big event. Speaking of which – they probably wrote Silent Night after the little drummer boy left – praising the blessed silence of no more pa-rum-pum-pum-pums.

And this must have been back when parents thought their kids were cute – not like when I was growing up and you were supposed to be seen and not heard. Little drummer boy beats on a drum and he makes history. I played Jingle Bells on the violin and my father paid me to stop.

And could you see if that whole nativity thing happened today? The headlines would never read: “King is born…Savior of the World….Random kid on drum to open event.”   No way. If that happened today it would be a reality show – featuring some washed up old sitcom actors– and people would get voted off the nativity scene – and PETA would make them use stuffed animals – and they would have to make it politically correct so the story of a savior would turn out more like an old Brady Bunch episode – and we would all watch with rapt attention for about ten seconds until we hear somebody else slept with Tiger, and forget king of the world, this is real news.

Yeah, I got all that from a song. I love Christmas and I love Jesus. But I want to kill that little drummer boy. I’m just saying.

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  1. Lara12-09-09

    You make me laugh…and I am going to be singing that for the next week now. Thanks alot!

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