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The Funny Side of Working For Yourself

16 Aug Posted by in Business | Comments

I work for myself and people think that’s glamorous. Well it’s not. It’s hard. You have to be extremely disciplined. You who have bosses have it made. You think I don’t answer to anybody? I have to answer to myself! You try kicking your own butt. It is not easy. And I never follow through. I’m pathetic. I’ve been trying to fire myself for years. Now with this economy, I just don’t have the heart to let myself go.

When you work for yourself you can never pull anything on your boss like faking a sick day. And forget kissing her butt. She already knows how worthless you are. And you should sit in on our staff meetings. It gets really intense. Nobody is open to any new ideas. And the blaming. “It’s your fault! No, it’s your fault!” And we have to keep doing these stupid teambuilding exercises. “There is no ‘I’ in team!” she says. But I shouldn’t talk about her like that – reviews are coming up.  There are some upsides. Like employee awards. I always get employee of the month and most improved. Then again, I am the one they always gossip about.

Somebody asked me if I was going to grow the business. I told them if I become schizophrenic, I’m going to start a chain.

I work out of my house too, which is a whole other level of confusing, especially when they tell us not to take our work home with us. And I have yet to figure out how to go home sick. And working out of your house is hard because you never know what to wear to work – the pink pajama’s or the blue ones. On casual Fridays I come to work naked.

When you work out of your home it’s hard because you’re right near the TV and the kitchen. And suddenly you’re putting a client on hold because Guiding Light just came back on. “Hello, Sue? Yes, I’d love to work with you. Could you hold just one moment? I have to put the next load of wash in.” Okay, I need to make three phone calls, send four contracts, follow up on a hot lead – wait, isn’t there left over Chinese takeout in the fridge?

And people think that when you work from home that’s code for being unemployed.

“And where’s your office?” they ask with an eager interested expression.

“Oh, I work from home,” I answer.

“How nice,” they say looking at me like I’m a dog with three legs. “We have some old clothes we can bring over for you.”

When you work from home it gets really lonely and boring sometimes. You get desperate for someone to talk to.  “Hello? Yes, I would love to take a survey! And you probably should call me tomorrow too because I might have changed my mind by then.”  I get so desperate to talk to people that telemarketers have become my best hope for companionship. For the record, some of them don’t want to hear how it went at your gynecology appointment. I just found out the Sprint guy put me on his do not call list. That’s the last time I let him hear my new speech.

Working for myself at home is tough. I definitely think I should have started as an intern first.

But there are some things that working from home has taught me that I think applies to all of us. Number one, every job is important whether you’re the one answering the phone or coming up with the strategic plan. Number two, you have to be accountable. You can’t blame anyone else. You want success, you go after it. And lastly, you’d better find a way to love what you do, or it will kill you.

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